When Peter heard about the wishing tree that was coming to his home at Shaftesbury Brookside House, he knew straight away what he would wish for: to renew his marriage vows with his wife Debbie. The tree, set up in the entrance hall at Brookside, was a new idea that Brookside residents decided to try out.
‘Since Covid, we’ve been intentionally searching out meaningful activities that really add to the quality of life for the people we support,’ says Shaftesbury area manager Pav. ‘If someone asks you what would you wish for, often your mind goes blank in the moment but the tree is there so people can give it some thought about what they would really like to achieve.’
Peter spoke to his keyworker John, who recorded the wish and hung it on the tree. Then Peter discussed the idea with Debbie, supported by their keyworkers, and she loved the idea. The wish was starting to come true!
Overcoming barriers
‘Myself and Debbie’s support worker Aasia supported the couple to contact their next of kin and their preferred church,’ said keyworker John. Guests included Debbie’s family, friends of the couple including 20 other people who live at Brookside, and Shaftesbury staff. ‘John in particular went to huge lengths to make this a very special day – all credit to him,’ said Pav. ‘There was a lot to do – supporting them both to get ready, as well as everybody else at Brookside, ensuring that the cab was booked and preparing a party for after the ceremony’. Staff helped with decorations, music and the Brookside chef served the couple with their favourite dishes.
Peter and Debbie were very much at the centre of planning the event. ‘The couple chose the church where they wanted to renew their vows. The priest visited them with a draft programme to review and they chose the hymns. Debbie chose what she would like to wear for her special occasion, supported by Aasia. As the weather was chilly, Debbie chose a glamorous animal-print fur jacket and a cosy wrap, with Peter looking sharp in a suit and tie.
Staff support
Did the wish come true? ‘It was the happiest day of my life!’ said Peter. Peter and Debbie said that renewing their vows has brought them closer and they are spending more time together. They both said the best thing about the day, was to have the chance to renew their vows and express their love for one another, witnessed by their loved ones. Peter said that John’s help and support was crucial in enabling his wish to come true.
This was the first Brookside wish to be fulfilled. Staff are now supporting Julie, who made a wish to improve her verbal communication, with a referral to the local speech and language service. Julie has also decided to pursue help from dental services, something she had resisted up until now.
Person-centred care
The tree is symbolic of the way Shaftesbury provides care. ‘I think the wishing tree is a way of changing the focus from meeting essential needs, keeping people safe, and provided for day to day, to leading a more flourishing life,’ says Pav. ‘Having something that’s visible in the entrance area, that we discuss at every residents’ meeting and staff meeting, and make a big celebration of, really does help all of us to think about quality of life. We want to make wishes come true.’ Pav hopes to trial the wishing tree this year at another Shaftesbury service she manages.
Brookside staff record the wishes’ fulfilled with photos and memories in a folder so they can be revisited later. What difference has the wishing tree made to people at Brookside? ‘It’s the joy it brings to people, knowing their wishes and goals can be achieved because they have the support to make it happen,’ says deputy manager Shukri.
Keeping it real
What happens if the wishes are unrealistic? ‘It depends on each person and how we communicate with them about it,’ Shukri explains. It boils down to knowing and understanding the individual.’
‘When people ask staff to put their wish on the tree, that’s when we have the conversation about how feasible this wish is,’ adds Pav. ‘When we introduced the tree, we said to residents that it’s going to be wishes that we as staff can make come true’.
Being first to have a Brookside wish come true makes Peter and Debbie’s celebration extra-special – but with new wishes coming in all the time, Brookside staff and residents are looking forward to seeing what further joy the wishing tree will bring.