When a card or hand-addressed letter falls through our letterbox, who doesn’t feel a little buzz of excitement about having something to open? Shaftesbury Chaplaincy Manager Elizabeth Harrison picked up on this shared enjoyment when she was considering ways to enable people we support to make more connections outside their immediate friends and family circle.
‘The penpal scheme came about as part of the chaplaincy strategy, in line with the New Economics Foundation’s Five Ways to Wellbeing,’ Elizabeth explains. ‘The first of these is “connect” and I was aware that many people we support have great connections with their families but perhaps don’t have that many friends from places other than where they immediately live. It’s great to find a friendship with someone who’s perhaps not exactly like you or who has different interests to you. They can bring a different perspective to your life which can be great for wellbeing.’
Forging new friendships
Elizabeth introduced the idea by inviting potential penfriends to form a Friendship Club online, for people we support through services around England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The response was enthusiastic: ‘Many of the people we support are really open to new friendships and have a lot to share and bring. They’re interested in the lives of other people that Shaftesbury supports.’
Initially sign-up was slow, which didn’t surprise Elizabeth, and after a couple of months, some 26 people had joined the scheme. They were matched with a penpal, with participation from people in Essex, Northern Ireland, Newcastle, Aberystwyth, London and Hereford. Some indicated a preference for a penpal of a certain age, gender or communication preference. ‘We’ve got a couple of people who prefer to talk on the phone, so they’ve matched up,’ says Elizabeth. Participants had already got to know each other at the online friendship group, so they had an idea of the different personalities who wanted to be penpals.
Staff provide an appropriate level of support to individuals, which varies for each person. ‘The main thing is that everyone feels they have something to share about their lives, with someone else,’ says Elizabeth. ‘Encouraging people to send a photo from their daily lives can help make a connection beyond what just words can do.’
Paul, pictured, is loving the penpal project, telling his keyworker how much he enjoys writing and receiving the letters, making a new friend and hearing what they’ve been up to.
Following on the success of the penpal scheme, Elizabeth plans to launch an accessible book club, initially online. This will feature illustrated books without text, supported by reading charity Books Beyond Words, which allow readers to use their imagination, read pictures, and make up characters’ names and share ideas and opinions about what’s happening in the book. ‘This is in line with another of the ways to wellbeing – “keep learning,” says Elizabeth. ‘Then I hope to encourage Shaftesbury services to set up a local, in-person book club if people they support are keen.’
On a wider note, Elizabeth emphasises how important it is for us all to maintain those ties of friendship: ‘It may be that person you write to once a year with a Christmas card but that is a valuable connection and we could all consider doing that a bit more often.’
https://www.mencap.org.uk/learning-disability-explained/research-and-statistics/friendships-research-and-statistics :
Mason et al. 2013; Chadwick et al. 2014; Wilson et al., 2017