Being too serious can often come from catastrophic thinking, or fearfulness that makes people feel that they have to be on guard. For example, worrying about saying the wrong thing or hurting someone’s feelings. Often very serious people cope with the challenges of life by being hyper-aware of the things that are wrong in life and all the ways it could get worse.
Life is frustrating. A slow internet connection, people who drive at a snail’s pace, poor service, other people making decisions that we don’t agree with but affect our lives and not being able to have the things that we would like, are just a few examples that can leave us in a state of generalised irritation and negativity. Add to this the unavoidable negative news stories that we hear from friends, family and all of the world’s media news outlets, and it can be hard to find space for seeing the lightness and joy in life.
When we repeatedly focus on problems and irritations, over time it can leave us with a demeanour of seriousness. So next time you are tempted to throw your computer out the window or explode with road rage, see if reflecting on these reasons for not taking life too seriously help at all.
Taking life too seriously
I suppose one must be serious sometimes. ― Oscar Wilde
Worrying isn’t productive
Lots of our stress is unnecessary. How many times have we worried about something happening that didn’t? Even if it did happen, how would worrying about it have helped? Worrying takes energy and time, both things that we need a lot of to get through our day. Worry eats away at our resilience – meaning the more we do it, the more likely we are to do it, which can make life that bit harder than it often needs to be.
Being serious slows down time
Whilst joking around can look like wasting time to the very serious, in fact it can make us more productive and the time goes faster. Over-seriousness can add tediousness or drudgery to a task, making our brain sluggish and take longer to process information. Playing around can take only a few minutes, but it can bring a level of stress relief which is re-energising.
Fun bonds people
Finding things to laugh about are part of how people bond and adds joy to the day and to routine tasks. Those who work together, who have strong bonds, are more likely to help each other out in those moments of need, making us feel connected, supported and valued.
Relationships are all that matter
We can spend a lot of time being concerned that things are not the way we want them to be but time and time again when researchers have tried to figure out what makes people happy, they have come to the same conclusion: that personal relationships make the biggest difference to someone’s wellbeing.
Money doesn’t make you happy
Wanting things that we don’t have can tip us into negative thinking about life in general. However, once again research has shown that wealth does not correlate with happiness. In fact, once you have enough money to satisfy your basic needs, money makes very little difference to your overall wellbeing.
Your time is limited
If you’re lucky enough to make it to the age of 90, you have less than 800,000 hours between the time you are born and the time you die to cherish and enjoy all the things that make up life. One-third of that time you won’t even be awake for, so it is important to make the most of it.
You are a speck
Finally, if you need to shift your perspective by reminding yourself that your problems aren’t as big as they seem, all you need to do is look up at the stars. The universe is larger than you can imagine. It is filled with burning balls of gas, galaxies and solar systems beyond counting. In a very real sense, you are insignificant. What better reason could there be not to take your life too seriously? The only thing that really matters is enjoying your life as much as you can and helping other people do the same.